DON'T JUST DO, LIVE JUST AS

“Freely you have received, freely give. So do not be afraid. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I  tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight, what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs."

My Thoughts Lately:

 Learning not to idolize things in our lives, to continue making Jesus our focal point and consistently pursuing HIS work- not ours. It is a constant battle to realign our vision with the Lord’s and we have to always re-evaluate our motivations and lifestyle in order to continue follow God’s plan.  We also need to take time to rest and BE STILL to hear God redirecting us. We need to shut the door and spend intimate alone time in order to HEAR God. God prepares us for greatness  and makes us great spiritual warriors through intimate alone time. Serving God isn’t just doing a bunch of things that follow along with the Christian religion. It’s not just a couple of choices we make like going to live and work at a Children’s Home. It is a lifestyle. Don’t just do, LIVE just as Jesus did. His ministry and his life were intertwined. He didn't proclaim the truth about God only when he had made friends with the people first, nor was he afraid to hurt people's feelings or lose favor with people --  He simply spoke truth.  There were not many boundaries of when, where, and who he would minister to. Every opportunity he used to draw people in and show the love of His father. It is easy to minister to people when we keep up the boundaries. It takes effort and vulnerability to make ministry a LIFESTYLE. People everywhere should be able to recognize we are believers in Christ and that we bring light wherever we go. People are dying without knowing the eternal salvation that is available through Jesus. Christ freely gave us our salvation -- It is our job to freely give that same opportunity to others. Are we willing to stand in the gap for people and claim victory and truth for their lives, or will we wait? 

Love with no boundaries, and proclaim salvation to ALL.

Coming Home

My time here in Roatan is all coming to an end in 3 days until Harrison and I come back in August after we get MARRIED! It has been sad but exciting all at the same time. I feel like I have been able to have a lot of closure with the kids I have been working with, both in French Harbour and at the Children’s Home. In the past several weeks I have seen the children learn how to work together, speak encouraging words, talk to God, hear from God, how to be a servant, and most excitingly to learn how to love. It makes my heart so happy to see kids who have never had a great example of any of these things are now great examples to other people. Some people might question whether my time here has been worth it, what if the children forget everything you taught them after you leave. That is what is so awesome about doing God’s work. All I have to do is plant the seed, and God will bring that into full fruition. God doesn’t need us to transform lives but he invites us to be a part of this amazing experience. One of the most exciting things I hear from a child at the children’s home was that she heard God speak to her. She came up to me and said “Miss Kendall I heard God talk to me last night! I was afraid and having bad dreams and God told me not to be afraid and to hold onto my bible while I slept.” Wow! Talk about powerful stuff. This 8 year old heard God speak directly to her. So many people haven’t ever experienced that and the Lord is clearly molding and shaping her for big things in her future. My last night at the Children’s Home we all went to Wendy’s for a celebration. Wendy’s is a BIG deal here so the kids were super excited. It was so good to see the kids being children and for our last time together to be one of laughter and playing. These kids have left such a lasting impact on me and my heart.  I will miss them A TON.

A couple weeks ago, Martha and I started having a girls program with some of the girls from French Harbour. We decided that the boys are being reached out to, but no one is reaching their hands out to the girls. Girls here have such a different life than boys and have different expectations. Girls are expected to stay at home and don’t have much opportunity to leave the house, while boys are roaming all over the island hitching rides and what not. We only knew one girl in all of French Harbour. So we told her to bring four friends on Monday’s. We were eager to see if Marba would actually keep her word and show up on time. Marba did come and bring four friends……….a hour late. Better late than never, right? Well over the past couple weeks it has been so obvious how working with boys and girls are so different. We already had “girl drama” among the girls. So Martha and I are trying our best to work through these problems and move on. Yesterday we walked with a bunch of the girls all around French Harbour. As we walked it was so amazing to have more girls come up to us and start walking, then we would run into some of the boys from the mentoring program, and they would walk with us. I am beginning to feel more comfortable in French Harbour as  I come to know more and more kids. And it is great because with kids there are so many connections to their parents, cousins, sisters, brothers, etc. You get to know everyone! Sadly, I am leaving and will not have another Monday with the girls, and we are not quite sure where this program is going. However, we do know that these girls need mentors, someone to help them learn about self respect, responsibility, forgiveness, and respect for others. It’s amazing how just spending time with someone can impact them.

Recently, God has been providing like crazy for the mentoring program.  Martha had been spending so much time and money going everyday to STAR COPY to print out materials for tutoring. We both came to the decision one day that life would be easier if we had a printer. Low and behold, one day a mission team decided to donate a bunch of clothes, craft supplies, and a PRINTER! It was a great day! It has also been so awesome to see God speaking to people to donate money to the program. Over $1,000 dollars people have given to us to help continue the outreach in French Harbour. That money goes to supplies, food, soccer balls, etc. It is so good to see people wanting to support what is happening in these boys lives.

As far as my life has been going, God has been leading me into interesting places. It’s funny, the deeper you go with God I am realizing the less control you have. It has been kind of scary for me to think about coming home and not having a job to come back to, school to start in the fall, or a paying job to come back to here in Roatan.  I look at all these things and I instantly start to freak out. And then I realize, God has provided in amazing ways ever since I have been here, and he will continue to give provision. It has been pretty hard to feel like my life doesn’t have much direction, especially now that I am coming home. However, it is exciting because I know God has things planned for me when I get home. One of those things being I am going to overcome my hatred of running by running an 11k with my best friend Kaylee.  I am super excited about coming home and spending time with everyone and eating some real food. I cannot wait!!

Loving Outside The Lines

Well it has been a LONG time since I have updated my blog, so I will try to make up for lost time as quickly as I can.

Baby Kendall

Harrison and I have become close family friends of a family here in French Harbour. Several boys in the family are a part of the mentoring program Harrison and several others are leading. Their mother, Francis was pregnant and had her baby in December. She decided to name her son Kendall and named Harrison and I the God-Parents of this beautiful baby boy!! It has been awesome to spend time with their family and helping provide some of their needs to help support their family. Harrison and I recently were able to give Francis some money to buy sheets so she could sell them and help with supporting the family. There are around 8 people who sleep in this one bedroom house. It has been an honor to see how this family has allowed us into their lives and trusts us to take care of their kids! I was able to take Francis and baby Kendall to the Dr. to get a check up and I have even been able to take Kendall for a saturday to give Ms. Francis a break.

Another amazing thing happened over Christmas, I got engaged to the most amazing man! And I had no idea it was coming. Harrison proposed while we were playing in the snow and I of course tackled him in the snow. It has been such a blessing to have the Lord bring him into my life. I am still amazed at how God  has spoken to both of us so clearly about our relationship, our purpose, and the direction of where our live together is headed. We will both be moving back here in August after our wedding to work with a non profit called Intensive Heart Ventures.

An update on Sindy! Sindy has learned how to eat by herself and how to use utensils.  She can understand simple commands such as: Put your plate in the kitchen, Put it in the trash, Wash your hands, Sit down, Put on your shoes, Give me a kiss, and put it back. She has continued to amaze me at how fast she is learning! She can also count one and two on her fingers. She can even say several words now and she is trying to say a lot more. She has turned into the most loving and giving child here. When you walk in the door she greets you with a hug, a smile, and lots of "Hola"s.  Right now, we are working on potty training, expanding her verbal skills by answering Yes or No questions, fine motor skills, and learning how to put her clothes on. These are big tasks, but somehow she is learning so quickly and God continues to bless the time we spend together.

It was so exciting to come back to the Children’s Home and have all the kids run up to me and almost tackle me to the ground. I absolutely love each and every kid and wish I could take every one home with me.  I have seen such a difference in the kids and the way they are beginning to understand how to treat me, and also one another. I have begun seeing the kids say more encouraging things to each other and seen them saying “please”, “excuse me”, and “sorry”. But one of the most exciting things is that when I got home one of the boys, Angel asked me if he could pray before lunch one day. It was such an encouragement to see him taking leadership and wanting to pray! 


One of our boys, Norlan, was having bad nightmares at night and wasn’t able to sleep. He would come knock on my door and ask if I could pray for him. So we would go to his room and both pray for the Lord to take away his fears and bad dreams. It was really exciting to see him come into his prayer life. At first he was ashamed to pray in front of me because he didn’t know how. Now he is more confident and comfortable because he knows he is just talking to God, like he would talk to a friend. After we prayed I would read him some of my favorite scriptures until he fell asleep. I would leave my bible in his bed because I told him that there is power in just have God’s word in your hands. Eventually I gave Norlan his own bible so that he would feel safe and protected when I was not there. It was also amazing to talk with Destiny and hear about how she has been praying. I asked Destiny one day how she had been sleeping, and she responded “SOO good Miss Kendall! I wake up in the morning and I pray, I go to the bathroom and I pray, I pray before lunch, I pray at night, and I sleep SO much better”. Wow. Talk about being blown away by childlike faith. These kids continue to show me the simplicity in believing in God’s power and authority. Destiny just began school a couple weeks ago for the very first time, and she is 9. She was so excited one day before school because she told me that she didn’t want to act bad anymore because she just wanted to learn the ABC’s. 

My relationship with all the children is growing daily. They are opening up to me about their lives before coming to the children's home. Each of them has a emotional story to tell, and I wish I could share the details about where they have been and how far they have come. Some of the kids who were unaffectionate and stubborn are now the biggest cuddle bugs and I love it! I received a comment one day from a person while being down by the dock with some of the girls. They commented about how Shenice hasn't looked so happy and played like a child in a long time and that today she genuinely looked happy and carefree. It was so good to know that God is working on softening her heart and allowing her to feel like a kid again. I love seeing the Lord working in their lives. It is so freeing to know that I don't have the power to make a difference, but it is the Spirit living inside of me that guides me to help love these kids daily, and God fighting for them constantly. All I can do is be in consistent prayer over them, teach them how to listen for God speaking to them, and teach them how be in His presence.  

 

I also got to see Jenny again a couple weeks ago. It was very unexpected and she ran right up to me and hugged me for five minutes. She had brought me a present to the Children's Home and had someone write me a letter in English! She told me like I was like her mom and continued to call me mom for the rest of the night. Jenny looked so beautiful and it was such a blessing to get to see her again. 

I was also able to take two kids to the dentist while Harrison’s mom and sister were in town. We took Marba and Pablo to the dentist, which was an all day experience.  We ended up waiting at the clinic for 4 ½ hours while the kids waited their turn and got their teeth fixed. Marba had never been to the dentist before and one of her teeth was rotting from the inside. She was very afraid of the needles, drills, but most of all the suction device. Pablo had to have one of his teeth completely removed from his mouth because it was so rotten. These kids are tough because they didn’t have any laughing gas! Way to go!! 

I also got involved in helping out with Harrison’s mentoring/tutoring program that he started. It has gotten so big that they needed two different time sessions for the kids. It has been exciting to develop this relationship I have with the kids from French Harbour even further. They are the most fun loving group of you will ever meet, and I LOVE watching them grow in not only their education but also in learning values and morals. Harrison and the other teachers are buying the food and materials right now that help feed and teach the kids. God has blessed us so that we have the funds to do this. However, we are praying that the Lord would provide these fundamental needs that we have so that we can continue serving these children.  

As for right now I am working at the Children’s Home from 9-1:30 on a Monday-Friday schedule. Harrison and I are beginning to work with our friend Joseph in his non profit called Intensive Heart Ventures. We will be heading up his scholarship program for local kids here to be able to afford going to school. I’m not quite sure why Joseph has picked us to work with him, because I feel inadequate compared to all the knowledge and experience he has, but I’m excited for this new season of growth and to see how God wants to use this to further teach me more about serving Him and bringing His kingdom to earth. 

Simply Serve

"I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. From the east I summon a bird of prey; and from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that I will bring about, what I have planned, that I will do." -Isaiah 46: 10-11
This verse has been a frequent reminder of the Lord's sovereignty these past few months. For me it has been easy to get overwhelmed with all the things I am doing. God has slowly but surely let me figure this one out on my own; that in my own power I have nothing to offer these people here. I can't change people, people's circumstances, or the way people think. All I have to offer people is the love that God has poured into me for HIS people. All I can do is be an example of love to people who have never experienced that kind of raw powerful emotion. All I can be is a light in the darkness and an arrow pointing towards God's arms open wide.  God is revealing to me that even though he is behind me in the work I am doing, He does not NEED me. God will fulfill ALL his plans with or without me. It is such a humbling realization. Oftentimes when I become involved in DOING a lot my pride starts to get in the way of seeing God move. 
Sometimes the call to be the hands and feet of Jesus can be as simple as "Just Serve" or "Just Love".  Many times I think the call has to be extravagant or extraordinary! And God does have extraordinary things planned for us, but we tend to forget the preparation period. That in order to make us great leaders, we must first become servants who serve with no ulterior motive other than to be the hands and feet and bring glory to God. I am reminded of the story of David in 1 Samuel, where he was prophesied to be king and was told that Saul had lost God's favor. However, David served Saul with no questions asked, and was content serving where he was.  Simply serving doesn't always usually have much spotlight or get much attention, but God prefers this method many times because He is teaching us to let go of our pride, to humble us, and to mold us into people who have a servants heart. Because once we learn how to truly give up ourselves and serve selflessly, God will lead us into situations where we will think "How can I use my leadership and authority to serve more"? 
God is raising up leaders everywhere who know how to serve. 

Love is Enough

 Wow. Life has been crazy good since my last blog post. The Lord has been continuously moving within me to not only pour out more love, but also to begin sharing His relentless loves for each of these kids. I’ve felt like the Lord is slowly guiding me into situations where he gives room for the Holy Spirit to move within me and within the hearts of the kids. I’ve began doing some prayer time with the kids before they go to bed, and I am always amazed and in awe of their prayers. Every single kid prays for their families, and asking for God to send angels to protect them is not uncommon to hear. I am astounded by how much love they are pouring out for their families considering the situations they come from. I was taken aback one night, with a revelation that these kids are living the way we are supposed to! They are loving without expectations and forgiving their families despite how they have been treated. Being around the kids is such an encouragement and I see the Lord working on my heart through them. I often catch myself thinking about how amazing it is to know that the Lord has given me this opportunity to love on His children and help them experience His fullness.

            God continues to lead me into special moments where I get to pour into His children. One night, a boy across the hall from me started crying in the middle of the night so I went into his room. I was able to hold him until he fell asleep and pray over him. I felt the Lord saying to me, “This is what I have created you for and given you the desire to do. Delight in these moments.” It’s crazy to think about. I have nothing special to offer these kids, but through God I am able to pour out His love and be satisfied in doing that. I love that God is always seeking to lead us into more satisfaction in what we are doing so that we can’t help but give more glory to Him. God is ALWAYS going before us and preparing the path so that we can fall more in love with Him.

 I also have been able to get more intimate prayer time with a girl name Destiny. She has been struggling recently with obedience and submission to authority. She has been acting out with screaming, hitting, and throwing things. One evening, it got particularly bad, and I went to go talk with her. Immediately she tells me about having really bad dreams about hitting people and hearing things to tell her to do something bad. I knew God was leading me to ask Destiny if she wanted to accept Jesus and her savior and allow the Holy Spirit to come inside and help remove all her problems. She said yes, and we prayed together for the Spirit to begin a transformation in her! I felt God comforting me saying that that Destiny is His child and He will fight for her; all I have to do is continuously bring her to Him in prayer.

Hanging with Jenny and Shenice

Taking a break from the dance part for a photo.

I’ve also developed a relationship with a girl named Jenny (12). She is beautiful, smart, amazing, and has the most breathtaking smile and heart. She came to us about a week and a half ago because she was being abused, but then was placed back in her home four days later. Jenny only speaks Spanish….and I, well am working on that. But I did understand when she told me she didn’t want to go back because her mom was “bad”. I had barely begun a relationship with Jenny but she hugged me and cried on my shoulder for the next 40 minutes before we dropped her off with INFHA to take her back home. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she needed anything. I met with Jenny on Saturday, and she ran up to me and clung to me and started crying. She showed me bruises and welts from being hit. She said she needed some clothes—and so we went shopping. It was so amazing to get to go shopping and see her face light up because she felt loved and important. Since then, Jenny has told me that she doesn’t stay at home, but instead at a friends’ house. Today, she stopped by the children’s home and hung out with me for the day. She doesn’t have a place to sleep tonight- so she is staying here. I’m not sure how exactly how to help Jenny, but feel God telling me to continue to pour out love for her. It’s amazing to see how God is moving in this relationship considering we don’t even speak the same language. Love is enough! Love has the ability to communicate and to heal without words.  I am in more and more situations where God gives evidence of his crazy, relentless, and powerful love for His children. God will always fight for us and continue to pursue a relationship with us. This gives me so much hope and I pray that I can plant a seed within in these kids and that God will continue to bring fruit forth within them.  

Prepare The Way Of The Lord

I’ve been at the Greenfield Children’s home in Roatan, Honduras for 2 weeks now—and it has been an adventure already. The first day I was dog piled by all 16 children and could barely breathe. I wish I could have a picture of that moment. I soon realized that every child was asking me how long I was going to be visiting for and when I was leaving. I began to understand that these kids are so used to people coming and visiting for a week at a time, and then leaving. They’ve not really had many constant adult relationships. They’re mentality is that people come for a short time, and then leave. When I explained that I would be here for a many months, the smiles that came across their faces and screams were priceless.  I have gotten to know the parents who run the Children’s Home and God has truly blessed me with amazing Spirit filled Christian role models. They are constantly pursuing God’s will for the children’s home. We have devotionals at 9 in the morning (all in Spanish of course) and it’s been SO encouraging to see how everyone who works here is passionate about serving God. On Sunday’s we go to an all Spanish speaking church that is outside and lasts for 3 long hours. Hopefully one day I will post of picture to show you how everyone at this church is crying out for more of God.  People are showing up in school buses to pile under this shelter and literally crying and lifting hands out for God. Although I understand absolutely none of the Spanish, I can feel the Lord’s presence moving among His people.  The other women who work here speak only Spanish, so every morning I’ve spent an hour teaching them basic English- and trust me, it’s been hilarious for sure. A lot of the children have some degree of a learning disability, and I’ve been able to work with them one on one.

                I have gotten to know the children’s personalities and been able to establish relationships with each one. Each child has come from a very traumatic background and it is heart breaking to hear about each one.  Recently, God placed an opportunity for me to be able to talk with a young girl named Destiny, about her life before coming to the Children’s Home.  The opportunity was not obvious; it kind of just fell in my lap. I was taking Destiny to my room to talk with her about her attitude towards the other kids. And as I began to talk with her, she just started tearing up and telling about how her mom and dad used to abuse her. Her Dad would come home drunk and tell her she was not worth anything, and in Destiny’s words, she said “I could see the Devil in his eyes”.  I could feel the Lord telling me to share His Love for her. I got to pray with her and ask the Lord to begin a healing process in her heart.  When it came time for Destiny to pray, she said the most sweet, innocent and childlike prayer that brought me to tears. She prayed forgiveness for her parents and that God would bless them and not allow any harm to come to them. She also prayed for the poor and also that God would be with everyone she didn’t know. Talk about a childlike heart. I was amazed at how selfless this girls prayer was after the things she had just revealed to me.

                I am in the middle of establishing my authority with the kids, and so with that comes a lot of discipline. I’ve seen that the children don’t really have a sense of boundaries on what is acceptable and what is not. There is a lot of hitting, kicking, and screaming. I am trying to show the children that they are all brothers and sisters, and that it is not O.K. to fight against each other. I have been able to get through to a lot of the children, and have already seen a huge difference in the kids. I’ve seen some of the toughest kids change their whole attitude once I get to sit down and express how much I love them. Now I can’t stop smiling whenever I walk into a room and they run up to hug me. I am so thankful that I am able to pour out love on these children with no restraints. I feel so blessed and honored that I get to be an influence on their lives. The Lord’s love is so present here, and I feel there is a huge harvest in front of me. I’m so excited to see how the Lord will continue to move here! Please continue to pray for us.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers”

-Galatians 6:9-10

Running After God

This past summer has been a whirlwind of emotions, experiences, and intimate time with God. It has been an adventure listening and trying to follow God's will for my life. For people who know me well, they know that I am a planner. I love to plan. I get excited going shopping for a new planner (yeah, that's how bad it is). My whole life I have always made plans for how my life would pan out. My relationship with God was a huge part of my life, but I had never asked God what His will was or ask for His input.  I was more concerned about making sure I was doing the things I wanted to be. I had this amazing plan - and it was going to be GREAT. That plan went to pieces the day God revealed something different for my life.

Since I started writing in a journal I've been able to record my thoughts and feelings while God has been preparing me for this adventure...

-Jan. 3rd: "I pray God will show me the path He wants me to take. I'm desperate for Him to talk to me, to show me. I pray He gives me the opportunity to be able to do His work that I'm so passionate about."

-Feb. 1st: "My heart is Yours to do with whatever Your will is. Where You lead me, I want to have the faith to follow knowing that You will provide for me...I know you have something unique planned for my life. God, I want You to prepare me and my heart for what You have in store for my future. I don't want to miss or take any opportunity for granted. I can't ignore You calling me any longer - You have called me to be different and show Your love for the world through me."

-March 15th: "Today Mary prayed for me, and after we had prayed she told me that she felt like God was preparing me to do something radical with my life. I got so excited, because I've felt it too. I want to make myself a vessel for God and be available to do whatever He asks and have the faith to do it without doubt or questions".

-June 27th: "Woah...Last night and this morning I keep hearing from God to leave school and follow Him wherever He calls. I'm grabbing a hold to this rope of faith.I don't know where it's going, but I know God will show me where I need to be."

All of this eventually to my realization that God is calling me into ministry. After telling my family and friends that I wouldn't be going back to school in the fall so that I could pursue ministry, all I could do was pray for clarity and direction. My mom sent me a website of an orphanage in Roatan, Honduras. It was by far, not the first place I wanted to go and spend my time serving. I casually sent an interest form to the orphanage, and didn't give it another thought. I had been really excited to look into mission work in Africa and that is where I spent most of my time looking into opportunities. After weeks of prayer asking God where I should be, He finally spoke to me clearly. I asked God that if this was from Him and this was where He wanted me to go, that He would tell people close to me the same thing. Without a doubt, God was faithful and had placed the same place on everyone's hearts:  an orphanage in Honduras. This is was an amazing illustration that God does communicate clearly with us, and that He does move among us.

Throughout this whole process of figuring out that path that God has placed before me, He has continually blessed me and remained faithful to me. I had been praying that God would give me opportunities to interact with children in Honduras that had disabilities. To my surprise, the orphanage called me a week later to tell me they had just received a new girl at the orphanage named Sindy, and she had been diagnosed with Autism. The secretary of this ministry forwarded me several e-mails from the director of IHNFA (child services in Honduras) asking if I would be willing to extend therapy to several children she knew that had multiple forms of disabilities. This is just one of several examples of how God has kept reinforcing and affirming my decision. I am so excited to finally head down to Honduras and meet these children that God has placed in my life. I am even more eager to see how God wants to move and interact with these children and with the people in this community. I can't help but have the feeling that God really wants to pour out His Spirit on to these people and start a transformation. I still have two more weeks before I leave, but I can't wait to meet these children and share God's powerful love. Please continue to pray long with me that God will encounter this city and His people in a new way.

               -Psalms 119: 30-32 "I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."

 

This is a picture of Sindy, the girl with autism- I have already fallen in love with this girl.